As in:
Clarence wasn’t sure just how the day had gotten away from him. The sad fact was that he’d been in the same hooded Montana State sweatshirt all day, with the unmatching green sweatpants and the lounge moccasins with the new dijon mustard stain on the right toe. He was now so addicted to bad food and on-line poker that even taking the time to drive down to the beach in his custom-painted PT Cruiser had leaked into a missed opportunity to catch a little sunshine.
He’d actually thought to himself, during halftime of the Georgia-Florida State game, yesterday, that he was beginning to resemble UGA, the jowly bulldog that is the Georgia mascot. Only the bulky dog’s outfit was better in terms of its color coordination. That was yesterday and he felt so puny about his circumstances (at least the ugly dog was getting some on-air time) that he thought about going to church on Sunday, to force himself to change into something nice, to think about something other than himself and his wagers. Besides, a little church might help his luck.
Well, so much for that. He’d been on a small winning streak at mid-morning and decided that church, like sunshine and the beach, could wait for another day.
So, now it was midnight. Notwithstanding the mid-morning streak of luck, he’d lost the day and $39. So, in some belated effort at redemption, he changed the channel from Sportscenter to “Praise-a-thon.” And there was Pastor Muncie from Munster, Indiana, up there on stage leading the chorus of “call now,” and “praise Jesus.” As he spoke, Pastor Muncie and his hosts raised their left hands up from the elbow, and spread their fingers out, as if expecting to catch a barrage of carefully hit softballs. It was sort of inspiring. They kind of looked like they might believe what they were saying, and joyous people in the audience were calling out “amens.”
Clarence thought, a moment, about calling, but in a somewhat more muted act of self-improvement he decided to floss before going back to his computer. Okay, he thought, tomorrow I really will drive the car to the beach.
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