Edgewise

As in:

Beatrix’s presentation of the Pez dispenser with the unmistakable hair, frames and jaw of the former Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, forced Lane Duncans to brake his prejudice. He did this by fixing his gaze on the toy figure presenting the little candy and then studying it in simian fashion. He finally plucked the little, neon-purple candy and placed it on his tongue.

“Wow, that’s loud,” he said, before swirling it once in his mouth. “Where the hell did you get that?”

“I’ll tell you if you let me get a word in edgewise,” Beatrix said.

“Edgewise is good,” he said, “go on.”

“I need you to represent me.”

“It’s that bad, eh?”

From there she emptied the story out, in Beatrix fashion, explaining her history with Ramon, the arrangement with Spokane Skates On, and the memorable breakfast with Reneé Bollister.

When she mentioned Reneé’s name she could see his left eyebrow arch, as it was hard to miss an account of a handful of crazy-long hairs at the peak of the brow.

“Ha!” he exclaimed. “Know the woman!”

“Do you?” Beatrix asked.

“Oh yeah, the devil can wear prada but his sister satan wears Reneé Bollister. Like a freakin’ bathrobe.”

“Ooooooooh,” Beatrix replied. “I thought there was something a little off-putting about her.”

“Do you have your contract?” Duncans asked. “I’ll need to look at that.”

Beatrix reached into her portfolio and retrieved a 9 by 6 envelope with the folded contract inside.

“I’ll need a few minutes to read this,” he said.

And, for those minutes, she watched his face as his eyes slowly slalomed down the pages. At one point, he flattened his lips against each other and made a sound, like a sea lion kissing.

“Okay,” he finally said. “I’ll do it.”

With that he reached across his desk and shook her hand.

“Now where’d you get that Sarah Palin thingee?”