Left to his own devices, it would not have been easy for Flavian to find the Feather & Spoke. The schnazzy restaurant was the brainstorm of a couple that shared passions for biking and bird watching and a cuisine that was even more adventuresome than the Biscuit Root. But it was also in the sticks a bit, about halfway between Pullman and Kamiak Butte.
When he came to the first stoplight in Pullman he switched on the automatic navigation unit, into which he had already logged his destination. Immediately, and in the voice of a woman who sounded something like Julia Sweeney, the unit began to give directions.
“Drive two point three miles to the stoplight at North Grand Avenue.”
Chellis looked over at him and half smiled and half squinted. She then pulled her Blackberry out and began to type a note.
“What?” Flavian asked. “What?”
“I don’t see where this is romantic,” she explained.
“Okay, fine,” Flavian responded, and he reached forward to toggle the unit.
“Turn right on highway twenty-seven,” the unit spoke, this time in the voice of a seductive Asian hostess.
“Oh dear God, Flavian,” she exclaimed. “You can’t do this. This is so icky, Astrid will have to jump from the car to preserve her honor.”
Flavian sighed, and reached up to click the unit off.
The car was on its way north, out of town. But where to go from here he had no idea. Possibly it would be visible from the highway. Possibly they would drive in the dark until the reservation for the table expired.
“Chellis,” he finally said, “I’m lost, and unless you want to have dinner in Potlatch or Worley, you need to tell me how to get there.
“Well, hmmm, I’ve only been here once….” she said. “That might have been it back there.”
“But that’s the road to Ag extension station,” Flavian answered. “I doubt their veggies will be ripe yet.”
“Okay, okay,” she relented. “Turn your unit back on.”
He did and toggled it forward again, to a voice that impersonated Don Knotts.
“I told you to turn left back there!” the Don Knott’s voice said with all the vigor of an exasperated Barney Fife. “Didn’t you hear me? And why are you driving like Otis? Just do what I say and turn around!”
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